OPERATION MJ CANCELLED!!!
OPERATION MJ CANCELLED!!! I FUCKING REPEAT OPERATION MJ CANCELLED!!!
Yeah... Nowadays, I feel quite free... No longer care if she reply my sms or if she is my valentine for my Valentine's day. Nowadays, I walk alone w/o STRESS, w/o caring if I am able to hold her hands, if I am at all attractive to her, w/o caring who the fuck she likes.

Wah... I miss this kind of carefree life man... It's really, "LIKE A BIRD"... Flying in the big sky... It has been a long day since I experienced this... Haha... Maybe being single aint that bad afterall, like Nigel say. You are able to do a lot a lot of things... That's y these few days I keep devoting myself to singing... FUCKING SHIT!!! It's damn crazy... It's like last time I can fly to high-tone easily but now, I cant even reach high-tone!!! WTF!!! No matter wat, I will TRAIN!!! TRAIN UNTIL I DIE... I wanna SING FOR THE WORLD!!!

These few weeks has really been a disaster for me, and Dr. Lam seriously wanna thanks ALL THOSE PPL WHO HAVE BEEN STANDING THERE FOR ME... Some have their own problems but still come and console me, I really go into www.touched.com... Thank you all... I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Whoooooooo!!! Lam, Give up?
I have asked a lot of people on this qn... Xq, Jia Yun, Ming Wei, Bernard, Jojo, Nic, Jerry, etc... Some tell me to give up, some tell me to continue... U noe wat? Sometimes, I just feel like going in front of 'her' and ask her, should I give u up?

I am seriously tired of thinking about whether she really have a guy she like... Yes, I have some information that says YES... But you know, I just hated that fucking answer and just refuse to believe... In Jia yun's sms, she says that MJ just say that she feel that that guy is very nice w/o the word of 'like' inside... I keep cheering myself up using that sms... It used to be the sms that destroy my life, but now, it is keeping the flame of my life burning...

I also keep thinking hu the hell that guy is... Frm FSV? Our cohort? Our class? WTH you noe? I just cant stop thinking... But I may haf the answer correct in my mind already... But, this isnt the main thing, the main thing is whether shld I continue chasing her? Or shld I finally back down for real and wish her happiness? U noe Life is like DAMN FUCKED! I was like finally quite close wif her last weekend due to my confiding in her bcos of the death of my little cousin... I was sad definitely, but she was there to cheer me up... But when I saw her in school and say HELLO, her response was seriously a killer... She 'Dao' Me... How can you be so close to me on tis day and the NEXT DAY we become like strangers? Can you like tell me wat's the problem? Issit bcos I look like a dick or sometink? Or bcos my joke sucks? Or issit bcos of 'him'?

Too many questions, too little answers... I realli hated living sometimes... Nigel try to cheer me up... He put in lots of efforts, telling me that my life is good but I choose to look at a diff. side of my life. Yeah, u are absolutely right Mr. Nigel... But you noe, I just cant look at the bright side... I dont mind not getting an ipod, a 3G phone, a computer that can play any game, a motorcycle, but I realli mind not getting that gal called MJ...

Some of us are having a mini-BBQ this 10th of Feb... I am thinking of asking her to come... But looking at the situation, I realli dunno how 2 ask...

I guess I shld just let nature takes its course, but u noe wat? 99.9% it would be that she ends up wif that mysterious 'him'... Lol... The Fear of seeing her attached but that guy isnt me is more fearful than being chionged by 10000 gangsters wif knives and guns and even more fearful than armagardon... Tiredness is slowly taking over me... Maybe... Soon, I might just give up...