Sunday, November 18, 2007
2:43 AM
The Worst Day?
If u wanna tok abt worst day in my entire life compared to my prev. post, my this day is actually way way way way worse than any fucking days... I feel sick, I feel emotional, I feel fucked up, I feel every single pain in this motherfucking world... I cant answer myself qns, i cant find solutions to my problems, I cant close my eyes for a sleep, I cant dry my eyes for a smile... Something just happened exactly a day ago... I was in my best shape, my best smile, my best day when it crashed down all the way to the pits of hell... I am afraid u will see this post, but if it is meant 2 be a blog, i guess posting it will serve as a diary and memory of tis event, the most epicest moment in my life.
This is the 1st time in my entire life that I realli cry on the bus wif tears rolling out of my freaking eyes, fucking embarassed of myself, fucking weak... But I wont denied, I am so into you... The dmg u gave is a straight dagger into heart, turning my pits of heaven into hell... If u are reading this, I hope u wont feel guilty or wad, it is not ur fault, it is just the cause and effect of love... N once again, I will say I am not typing all these 2 gain ur sympathy or wad, I just wanna to treat this as a memory. It realli changes my whole life when I saw ur answer, cos that night was so lovely, ur smile and all, I just cant imagined they are all not true... Maybe I try too hard? Maybe this maybe that? I suddenly found out that my purpose in life is like gone? For all these past few months, I have grow out of my emo-zone, thanks to u, but now, I found myself inside again, being tangled up and buried deep into that zone... I promised u I will come out of it, I definitely will, but I will definitely need a lot of time... But I will do it, as long as you are happy... And wats actually love about? Love is actually about making the person u like happy, no matter wat things fall upon u, no matter wat suffering u are going thru...
No matter what, thanks for all those memories... Thanks for everything, I will be oways be behind u, supporting u, I know u are seldom emo but, if u are, I am here...
